I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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