SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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