He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
