My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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