I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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