It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
