i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
