Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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