Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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