I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
