Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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