Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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