I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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