There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize