I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
