He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize