Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
