Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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