I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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