She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize