you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
