Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we're so committed to being not committed
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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