Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
