there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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