I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Who died my cat blue again?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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