honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize