sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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