I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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