i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
