Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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