The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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