Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
