There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
