i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
