i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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