Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
