Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
