if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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