When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
