i just had sex bonerless
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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