He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
