if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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