fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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