So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
