'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
