That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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