Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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