Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
