K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
