Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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