TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
