can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
