No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
