I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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