i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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