Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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