I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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