just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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