she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
