Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
