I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
