Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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