If i come over, it means nothing
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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