I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
