maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize