At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
