My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
