just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
