Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
