Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I should be sponsored by Trojan
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
