I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
