I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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