I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
that is very illegal...i love you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
